Am I normal?

This is what I asked myself this afternoon. I've been writing a lot lately, more than I have before, I think. I have many projects taking place at once, which is exciting for so many different reasons.  A few weeks ago someone at a writing group told me about a contest with a deadline of June 10^th. I started working on a short story for it and wrote about six drafts. Through a series of events I ended up sharing it at several writing groups in its various outlines over the last few weeks. Today, after slicing, dicing nearly trashing then resurrecting the piece I took it for it's final critique to my Tuesday critique group.

--Can I begin by saying what an awesome group of folks I have the pleasure of being with every Tuesday? So kind, honest and helpful.-- I passed out my piece and once again read it proudly (although it was suggested that I slow down a bit. I have no idea why I started out as the Speed Racer of Reading - read slowly at critique, they need time to absorb and critique at the same time.). This time instead of expecting everyone to find it fascinating, I only hoped they'd tell me what the heck was wrong with it! It didn't flow, I had obvious plot holes, was the suspense there, was the dialogue alright... They did tell me what was wrong. Once again, they delivered brilliantly.

I hurried home to look through all of their wonderful notes. I was excited to see what solutions they'd come up with for me. But, when I got there, instead of being excited to rewrite my piece using all the great advice I'd been given, (and get it submitted by the deadline), I found myself wanting to throw it away. Could it be that I'd written and rewritten it TOO many times? I feel like I am completely done looking at it. It doesn't help that I took another peek at the contest I'll be sending it off to and they mention they'd prefer something humorous. Nothing about my dark piece is humorous.  

Nevertheless, I think I've chopped the thing to bits too many times, I even resorted to using cliches! I'm afraid I simply need to rewrite the thing from scratch using all the advice from today, but I'm not sure I have it in me. Ugh. I do plan to pick it up again tomorrow and see if I can get back into it. I still have several more days to work on it, in fact. I've come this far with it, I owe it to the piece and to all the folks at critique (and the ones that critiqued it that aren't part of the group) to at least submit the thing.

Oddly, I'm in the mood to blow the dust off the novel I have stored away. Perhaps it needs to see the light of day again. -->I'm stumped on the first page. I suppose I should just skip it since it seems to be holding me back. (I'm all freaked out about the need to grab the reader right away...errgh) I'm thinking shorter, tighter chapters than the drawn-out chitchat I produced for Nano. Let's get moving! Let's all drag out an old Nano-novel and do some work to it! Then we can write a brand new Nano-novel this November! Weeeeeee! Let's catch up a bit. Ready? Go!

I am a writing fool as of late!

So much so that I am actually considering opening my dusty, dilapidated... all but forgotten [because it is a thorn in my side] novel from last years www.nanowrimo.org contest and doing some work on it.  I know, its crazy.

I mentioned the other day that I belong to several writing and critique groups. I bestowed ghastly ghostly work upon one of the groups the week before last, but I am hoping to redeem myself next week with a story for a Writers Digest contest. At another critique group I've just sent off a piece via email I plan to enter into a contest in October. The two groups are quite different in how they work their exact critique, but the result is the about same - plenty of great advice on your piece.

At lunch the other day a friend that was present during the reading of a piece of flash fiction I'd written asked me about it. I told her I received Honorable Mention in a contest. She suggested that I expand the story into a series. I hadn't thought of it before. What a delightful idea! I was able to add to my delight when I later saw a couple pieces of art by someone I know. Boy, I could write a series and that artist could illustrate!  Ahhh! Move over Winnie the Pooh!

I've been coming up with different storylines. A series... are my characters detectives? Are they explorers? What is their mode of travel? How many main characters are there? Names! Oh, I have some wonderful names chosen already. For some reason I rarely name my characters if I can getaway with it. I've discovered that names hold meaning to people. I'm always afraid my character will be defined by his or her name. But, I have a few unique names I've sort of been holding onto through the years that may have finally found their character.

All of this writing has picked up and taken off over the last week or so. I wrote before that, of course. The last week I really feel like a switch has been clicked on for me though. It's a good feeling. I hope it lasts for a while.

Critique Group : Every Writer Should Have One

            There are many factors that occur to make a writer great. Having a lot of support behind your work is quite valuable. Beyond your parents, whom are quite proud of everything you do, or your husband, boyfriend or best friend that better be proud, you may find that your work benefits significantly by having a good-fitting and experienced critique group behind you as well. You may have to shop around for the perfect fit, but it will be well worth your efforts.

            I belong to several writing groups, and happen to be the President of one (shameless plug: http://www.saturdaywriters.org/). Several times a month I find myself immersed in wonderful advise from writers of all different experience levels. Simply attending and observing is of advantage to a writer. So much is to be learned by listening to casual comments spoken throughout the room. If you are with a really good group you better take notes once the actual critique begins.

            Really, I believe we learn from any exposure we have to the craft. A writer gains even more by participating in the critique with his or her own work. For one group I attend, I had come to a point where I felt comfortable enough to commit to read something for critique this week. Boy, I soon found myself regretting that commitment.

            Nevertheless, (<---I learned this is one word at critique today!) I'd made a commitment, and I am not one to take doing so lightly. I have a couple of items I am working on for various projects. I've come up with a personal essay that will work for several venues, I have a few short stories that could use some critique for use in the future, a piece I want to enter into a particular contest with an upcoming deadline... my thriller novel I wrote for www.nanowrimo.org last November that desperately needs attention (so much so I rarely look at it because it seems a bit hopeless at times). Then there is the brilliant idea I came up with a few days ago which happens to be the lesson of this very blog...

            I am a ghost hunter. Only a handful of folks know this about me, and most that do find it hard to believe. Alas, it is true. Just this past weekend I was crawling around in creepy spaces in search of communication from the "other side".  I've been actively hunting for several years and have quite a few adventures under my belt. Back in 2010 I had an article published at http://paranormaltaskforce.com/ about a hunt I attended with the fine folks at PTF. Everyone was Ga-Ga over the article at the time. I didn't write anymore about my adventures, but in a twist of events, I've decided to chronicle my ghost hunting jaunts into a sort of "How to" manual. I figured it could be something I self-published down the road.

            So, this morning, (because my kiddo's keep me fairly busy in general, but added to that my poor dog broke her tail over the weekend, I'm busy attending events because its graduation season, and so on and so forth) I pulled up the article I'd written in 2010. Some of you may have read it on my old blog, it was called "In the Darkness, Silence is Easy to Find". I've since removed the photos I borrowed *cough*stole*cough* from the internet and what remained was the shell of the original article which relied heavily on the photos. I've since taken my own photos to replace the others, but of course they are stuck in a file somewhere to live out the rest of their natural computer file lives and are not likely to see the light of day again. (You know how it goes...)

            I decided I'd take the shell of this article and make it Part 1 of my story to read to my critique group. As I munched my egg sandwich I hurried through the article trying to change the areas I'd only had to "tell" about because it had a photo attached originally into a "show" with words. I worked on it for as long as time permitted, printed ten copies of the first 5 pages and commenced to getting the living souls in the house ready for the day.

            Once I got to my critique group I immediately changed my mind about reading. No way was this article-turned-almost-story ready to read to these members. Why, just last week one of them commented to me how he worked on his stories for weeks before presenting it to the group. Weeks?? I didn't even work on this one for hours. Yikes. The sign up sheet came to me and that darned commitment thing popped into my head again. I had to do it, bad or good writing. I'd made a commitment last week to read and I had to stand by it. Thankfully my name was last on the list. I hoped we'd run out of time before we got to my turn.

            A personal essay with a great moral was read. Then two short stories about motherhood. Next was a chapter from a memoir about a little boy learning to swim. I thought I'd be saved by the clock when it was decided I should go ahead of the second to last person.

            I-yi-yi! As I passed out a copy to each of the ten people in the room, I explained that what I was about to read was once a great paranormal article published on a legitimate website. This wasn't just some kooky ghost story, I wanted them to know. It had substance, I just needed a bit of direction, that's all.

            I read my article-turned-almost-story loud and clear and with pride. Here was a room full of people that had surely never heard of such a thing as ghost hunting. They certainly would appreciate knowing the technicalities that go into such an event. I got chuckles in the right places and I felt the reading went well. The article-turned-almost-story stalled a few times, I admit. The "sweaty ghoul finger" really had no place there, I admit that too. But, I'd explained this was a work-in-progress. It'd been a famous piece once, so they'd understand and unquestionably appreciate what was happening on the pages in front of them.

            [Crickets chirping...] Wow. Remember earlier when I mentioned the part about shopping around for the perfect fit in your critique group? Well, that's important. Writers are human beings. We're a bit slow to accept change just like everyone else. [I smile]

            The critiques and comments I received actually weren't that bad. I know folks were holding back from saying things like, "Oh my Gosh! Are you kidding me with this?? You bring this CRAP in here after I let you critique my finest work week after week??! How dare you? HOW DARE YOU?!" Okay, I probably did deserve to hear that because I admit I didn't work hard on the piece, but still. I think some people just didn't get it.

            I received comments like, "Don't leave the evidence for later." My defense (and you aren't supposed to be defensive in a critique group) is that during a ghost hunt you don't know what your evidence is until much later when you have a chance to review everything you've documented, and the original article was written in two parts.

            "It reads too scientific" It IS scientific... as scientific as paranormal can be, anyway. I got the feeling the group is programmed for STORIES.  This person took aim at a part where I wrote about describing our equipment to entities. Yes, its true, we ghost hunters speak to rooms that appear empty. I do believe the group member found this absurd. That was absurd, but a few weeks ago the person jovially critiqued a story about two headed dragons... okay.

            Of course my favorites were "Very interesting to me because I'm from that town" and "Like the whole story, keep it up" I'd say these people hated it most.

            This is where having a good and experienced critique group comes in handy: I also received numerous thoughts about my structure. Maybe I shouldn't keep all the evidence for later. My readers might find it boring having to read through tons of investigation with little or no result. They pointed out the fact that I used the word "investigation" fifteen-million times. Somehow... I hadn't caught that! They helped me think of different words for cemetery, building and old. They pointed out where they felt like I had extra long sentences that didn't work. Some of my long sentences they liked and told me to keep. They explained where my pace was slow and offered advice on how to pick it up. They want history on the town I hunted in, which I probably would not have included because that wasn't why I was there. Talking with my group I realized the history was actually interesting and it has the word "bones" in it, so it might actually add something. Two of the members even invited themselves on my next ghost hunt!

            So, the lesson of my blog is that every writer can benefit from a first-class, good-fitting critique group. Even though some of the group didn't seem able to handle the muck I forced upon them today, I feel the majority of them are willing to try and that sort of support is invaluable. I'm not sure where my article-turned-almost-story will go from here, but I am so thankful I have this group of fine folks to help me figure out where to start.        

Hi! I'm still here!

What does that thing say over there----> November 2011!? Gosh, does that make me a slacker or what?

Excuses. That's what I should have called this post. I started typing up a bunch of excuses as to why I haven't blogged in over 5 months, but I erased them all. I'll skip the excuses and only mention the exciting stuff!

The http://www.nanowrimo.org/ novel I finished in my last blog has survived. In fact it has been reworked and added to... it continues to grow and be rewritten as time permits. I'm thinking about ways to continue the book in fact, so that one day I can offer a series rather than a stand-alone book by a first time author. Something tells me that will be more appealing to the folks who matter.

In January 2012 I took over duties as President of an awesome non-profit group for writers called Saturday Writers. We're a Chapter of the Missouri Writers' Guild in our 10th year. We write just about every genre you can imagine and we range in age from 16-80, literally. We meet about once a month to encourage one another and learn about writing. I have an awesome group of fellow board members that are all willing to  go the extra mile, and continually offer great ideas and creative suggestions for our meetings.

I could go on and on about all the fabulous things happening Saturday Writers, but I'll save those things for future posts, because.. oh yes, my friends, there will be other posts. In the meantime, you can check out our group at http://www.saturdaywriters.org/

YAWN | STRETCH | YAY!!!

Oh My! 29 days ago I was warned that by this day I would be so ready to get my novel out of my face but, I didn't believe it. While I was writing I couldn't imagine how I could ever want to put my novel away. Of course I would want to write and write at it until it was perfection.

Ya, right.

I'm not sure how it happened, but it did. I think it was around day 25 or so. I'd written every single day until then, even if it was just 500 words or so. I was ahead and happy to have a bit of a break for Thanksgiving, and then... I didn't write, and I didn't write and I didn't write. I complained to my husband about it. I surfed the net for the first time in nearly a month.

Then, I feared.

I feared the spark was gone. What had been such an amazing story a few days before suddenly wasn't there. I was scared. I made myself sit down yesterday and write a couple thousand words. I made up a scene I hadn't outlined and I liked it. My spark was back. Today I needed only 500 words to be a "winner" and trust me when I say that as excited as I was to be winning, I was equally excited that I never had to look at the piece again if I so chose.

I really think I've written something good, so I will look at it again, but for now... whoooo! Next time I see that person that gave me that warning I'll have to let them know that they told me so. The best move I think I can make for my novel at this time is to close the file and not open it again until next year. I love the story, I love the plot, I know I love many of the scenes I wrote, but right now I can't bare the thought of having to read them!

Writer Be Aware

In completely unrelated news, I'd like to announce that if I didn't have mom, wife, cleaning lady, chef, frozen fundraiser pie delivery, field trip to the library, and visit to Grandma's and Doctor responsibilities today I would be heading to the department store make-up counter in pursuit of the perfect shade of red lipstick. Today feels like a good day to own a tube of red lipstick. I don't mean an off-shade like burgundy or wine, I mean RED. So red that people see my lips coming in the door before me. Well, okay, maybe not quite that red, but a red that looks great for the fast-approaching holidays. That is all I have to say about that.

 ~~

I recently wrote a sex-scene for my Nano novel. I've never written one before and quite honestly, I had to tap into the memory bank of all the lovemaking scenes I've ever seen in the movies. That task accomplished, I went on with my Nano-ing for the day, finishing at a respectable amount of words as I've been doing everyday since November 1^st.  (Expect yesterday, but I felt getting a bit ahead and taking a break was probably a good idea since I was beginning to feel a bit of a love-HATE thing for my story, more on that another day...)

I happily told my husband about the scene I'd written after the kids went to bed. I was excited that it had turned out quite well, in my opinion. I didn't want to write a porno-scene, but I didn't want readers to be bored with it either. All was well, my husband congratulated me and then asked a simple question that actually caused me to take a step back. He asked to read the scene. Of course I am happy to let people read what I've written, but my goodness... what if my nano-novel actually turns into something good and gets published and... my mother reads that sex scene, or worse, my Grandmother! My neighbor, my son's teachers. To use an expression from my old Jewish boss, "Oy vey ishmere!"

This past summer I heard the newly published Kelly O'Conner McNees speak about her book The Lost Summer of Louisa May Alcott (http://kellyoconnormcnees.com/ ). She was a very good speaker and I enjoyed listening to her as well as reading her book. One thing she talked about during her lecture was how surprised she was when she realized that people were reading her book. She mentioned a time that a perfect stranger commented on a scene from her book and she thought, "How did they know I wrote that in there?" It wasn't until then that she really realized what being published meant. It means anyone can pick up your book and read your words. All of them.

I'll likely keep the sex scene in the book, and in fact, I have planned an additional scene that I might not normally discuss with my mother or grandmother otherwise, but the story needs it. The scene will be food for the reader, and it is necessary to the story, I feel. But, let the words of those that have come before me whisper in your ear as you write, "EVERYONE will read this!"

*Gosh, if the fear of a bad critique isn't enough to scare you away from writing, now there is the awareness that if you do publish your book people will read it! LOL!

I should be nano-ing

I haven't posted in awhile and thanks to www.nanowrimo.org I've discovered something exciting that I really wanted to share with the world.

As usual, I have only just discovered this new and exciting thing, but I am certain others have known about it for a long time.

I was nano-ing along, starting at the beginning of my story like a good little first time nano-er, when suddenly I had an idea for a scene that would occur much later in the book. I didn't sit on the idea and wait to type my way to the part in my story I'd use it for, I stopped what I was working on to type that scene and it came out quite lovely, if I do say so myself. Then later I did it again! And then again until I was jumping all over the place in my story and that is just about when something peculiar began happening...

I was typing away when suddenly this tall handsome man walked into my story and said, "Hi, I'm Will, the husband." Then it happened again later when a boy strolled in and explained that he was the third son, Bradley. I was amazed. Characters seemed to be appearing from no where in my story. I admit, I was a little taken back when a lady sat across from me on the screen and explained she was at the funeral. Funeral?? But who died?! Brilliant!! Brilliant!!!

So, at the end of Nano I'm not certain anyone will be able to read my story from beginning to end at first, but after a little rearranging I think it will be okay.

Oh, so the neat-o thing I learned: I've never been very good at coming up with the middle of a story. I can write amazing beginnings with decent endings but rarely fill in the middle very well in my opinion. So, what I've figured out is that by not trying to do that, but instead focusing on each scene I am able to write a great beginning, middle and ending with no problem. My character goes to the gas station. I can write when she arrived what she did and when she left. Breaking it down like that seems to really be helping me. Now, I am not nearly ready to start rearranging these wonderful scenes I've written and trying to make the story readable from the actual beginning, but I think having figured out to write it scene by scene and not even in order, for that matter, is really working well for me.

12,841 words written as of yesterday. Today I am procrastinating a bit, but by this evening I'll be on my way to India with a French poet in search of.... well, I can't really tell you that, now can I? [smile]